Beauty Behind Bars

This page is dedicated to publishing some of the writings that inmates have given to me or sent me as I work in prisons across the US and abroad. 
There are poems, stories and bits and pieces from their hearts. You will find some work here that is moving, inspiring and thought provoking, and learn like I did, that beauty can come from even the worst place. 
These writings do not nessecarilly express my thinking or beliefs, but I am publishing them here on behalf of the men who do not get their voices heard, especially those with a life sentence. - Ruth 


His Mercy: Written after my accident and rescue by JB

 Looking at this mountain;

these hills that I must climb:

His purpose is before me,

His will is also mine.


Step by step I falter,

humbled by the meekness;

His confidence before me,

His strength is in my weekness.


The battle of decent;

although downward I go forth:

My body tumbles southward,

as my spirit's soaring North.


Conquering the fear;

peace within the fall:

trumpets sound before me,

as I answer to the call.


Beaten, broken,weary;

Dazed I cannot stand.

Letting go I let God,

my life is in His hands.


A little higher than the angels

made to worship at the throne,

His blood is coursing through me;

 in my heart He's made His home.


A whisper in the wind:

"Be cast into the sea"

The only Rock that can't be moved

 is here to rescue me.





"FIGHTERS" - written by Josh Williams 2-2-2023 

we have heard the thunder

we have braved the storm

dark clouds still looming

over our heads they stay

but look, look to the horizon

the clouds part and there's the sun

there is a brighter day

we just have to find the way

there are no bad endings

only new beginnings

they're just small bumps in the road

bridges to cross, hills to climb

but together we can beat them all

we are fighters, you and I

we are not different, we are the same

all these problems are just part of the game

together makes us stronger

let's prepare for a better day 

because there's no other way

you lean on me and I lean on you

do this, and nothing can break through

they can't break us down

we've been tattered we've been torn

but in this fight together we will survive

why? 

well, because we're fighters, you and I.






A Lover of Birds - Scott Wolf , IN

Lover, there will be another one,

Who will hover over you under the sun

Tomorrow see the things that never come

Today, when you fly away, without you my

Feather's fall around me, and show the way

To go, the view it's over, it's over Nestled in your wings,

This little one is special, her colors are bright

Through and through, accross a sky so blue!

"His love goes from me to you"!!!!!






LIFE - by Jessica 


I have been given life. 

Life is death. 

Oh my, I have just lost my breath!

This I can't even swallow. 

Where has all of my blood gone?

I now feel so hollow. 

Dwelling on this sentence all I can do is cry. 

Is this where I am really going to die?

What more do I really have to lose?

No! This can't be the end for me. I REFUSE!

Kicking and screaming, I have to be dreaming. 

A nightmare, I just want to wake up. 

This rollercoaster ride that I just want to get off. 

I can't hit rewind, all I can do is open my heart and my mind. 

It's all about my choices and I have made enough mistakes. 

I am surrendering my all and giving it all that it takes. 

Things will change in my favor because God says so. 

The roots that have held me down are no longer,

because only through him can I be STRONGER. 

With Jesus as my new foundation, 

I am no longer under condemnation. 

With all of his promises and LOVE, I will RISE ABOVE. 

I will hold my head high, and look toward the sky. 

A future with him and there is my HOPE. 

I wanted to die, but now that is dead. I chose to live!

My fuel gauge for life is no longer in red. 

He died for me to give me exactly what I need, eternal life. 

He fills me up, my cup runneth over as I abide under his cover. 

He gets me through to endur the death of my life. 

With the armor of God and the strength I have been given,

I will continue living. 

With all that is right, I have been given LIFE. 



"Seeds of Sincerity" By James Burnette: 


There grows a tree inside of me,

inside of you,and he and she:

void of all hypocrisy,

a truth that one can clearly see.


Often tough this life can be,

it's leaves offer shade from burning heat.

The branches spread so wonderfully,

to channel the ever cooling breeze.


The roots they run so very deep-

into the soil of honesty.

Its mystery not amiss to me,

so rich the ground in clarity.


A pillar of integrity,

of strength,of grace and morality

A symbol of true royalty,

a source of unity and loyalty.


A seed of fate spurned this decree:

a poem from one so dear to me.

The Word unites so powerfully

moving us towards our destiny.


Who planted this tree that set us free?

Something so good He can only be-

not probably but factually,

The Father of all Sincerity.







"FAMILY" by Joshua Williams


Family? what is that?

I ask myself that often,

if I had one, my heart would soften.

mine has left me out in this rain,

the downpour has only brought me pain.

I've lost all ties,

regardless of my countless tries.

I've cried a thousand tears,

to no avail they leave me here.

I've cried so much with no tears left

none to shed for them.

I've caused them pain I've caused them grief,

my absence probably a relief.

I was a heathen, I was a beast.

something they couldn't bear, something they couldn't defeat.

I pushed them back, I clawed them all.

they just watched me fall over the edge.

family? what is that?

something I lost years ago.

my life on hold while they gave up and moved on,

left here to remember that they are gone.

I can only imagine how they are now

hoping for the best

hoping I'm not always gonna be the pest.

family? what is that?

its love!!!!!! its what I miss.

its what I've lost, its what is gone.

family? what is that?




WHEN MY EYES CLOSE:  By: Jamal Davis 


When my eyes close, the magic really happens and my imagination begins to flow .... my mind, heart, and soul glows, when my eyes close .... I'm an African King with a very beautiful and gorgeous queen by my side .... Draped in precious golds and jewels, holding a spear and a shield, with a mighty African army behind me, my heart knows no fear .... Cheetahs, lions, and elephants roam the country side bringing life, noise, and companionship at various times .... A strong wind blows my soul across the golden Sahara desert .... 


I sit in Italy dressed in a flawless 3-piece suit ... At my favorite bistro sipping a latte, moments later I grab my briefcase and exchange some kind words to the owner of the café ... I walk down a beautiful brick road, where I'm greeted by an older woman holding a single rose .... She hands it to me and smiles, I smile back, blushing, thinking to myself, if only everyone were as kind as that .... 


The sweet rhythmic sounds of trumpets and drums fill the air, a band entertains the crowd as the aroma of spicy Cajun food fills the New Orleans air ... Later that night I wipe a bead of sweat from my face as I'm on the dance floor, grooving, at this amazing jazz place .... The sweetest smile acorns her face, my hands wrapped very closely around her waist, magic fills the air as we dance the night away .... 


Wow, when my eyes close ....my imagination truly begins to flow .... Mind, body, heart, and soul glows ... When my eyes close.


the end. 





"The Ultimate Cost"

    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son...

here I sit a sinner, but I'm not the only one.

    I'm speaking for each of us, all of us under the sun...

let's confess our sins,  and  repent the wrongs we've done.

    Jesus is our advocate, our defense when we break Gods laws...

he sacrificed his life for us, His perfection to protect our flaws.

    Like the footprints in the sand, He carries us when we're lost...        we owe a debt to our advocate, for He paid The Ultimate Cost.

                             By: DERICK ASHER "2022"



My Confession


Father forgive me for I have sinned. 

I'm beyond ready for my nightmare to end. 

I'm over the lying and so sick of crying. 

Where do I start? Just begin from the heart. 

No longer giving into myself, but the one who gave himself. 

I've held every other god higher than you, the only real GOD. 

I've used your name in vain, with nothing to gain. 

I've failed to worship you and keep your day holy. 

So many years of acting disobedient and ungrateful, to the only mother who gave her all. 

Wishing death on others and even feeling responsible for a life lost. 

With my thoughts and actions never realizing the cost. 

Thoughts of hatred, resentment, jealousy, and judgement. 

Now understanding I was only judging myself. 

I've committed adultery not physically but mentally. 

I've stolen and lied about things that were not mine. 

Coveted many people and things. 

Chose the things of the world over true riches. 

Abused myself and others, never really loving my brother. 

I get down on my knees for a second chance, just asking for another. 

FATHER, PLEASE forgive me for all I have done against you!

My good and ever loving GOD, you deserve all my love.

I confess all my sins to you the Father God Almighty, asking for your grace to overcome all my weakness of sin. 

I long for the day to see your face and receive all your grace!

Father PLEASE forgive me for I have sinned!


Better Man


I'm standing in the shoes of the man that was here before me, flipping through the pages of an old book he thought was boring, I feel torn and conflicted because I'm compelled but not convinced that, I could ever be a better man... Understand I pray to receive and because I believe, but in the eyes of the church I was evilly conceived, but you receive through belief and hope to achieve better understanding, yet I'm lost without understanding, and that's just where I stand... Reprimanded by a sturdy hand that may or may not be swayed, strain my eyes through fog and shadows is it worth the dues I've paid??? Am I naive to seek a clean slate, or should I feel betrayed and hold a grudge with fate, if that's the case then its to late to be a better man... Hold my hand I'll shield you through hard times, sacrifice myself in hopes to see you smile, I don't ever want to see you cry, or ever wave goodbye to your loved ones, because your one of the few I've loved, once the ash settles, we unmask, no more clashing to settle scores, I won't ever let you forget that your beautiful, and that's why I want to be a better man... I think of you when I'm writing music, I think of you when I'm going through it, I can taste you in the air I breath, your my glimpse of beautiful in everything I see, I see therefore I seek hope to achieve and be a better man...


'TELL THE DEVIL IM SAVED''

It seems like every single second of every single day

I find myself wondering what it is that led me astray.

Or why God took away my family but he left me to stay.

Could it be that ive been cursed since birth then show me the way.

This is not what i want i feel like im stuck in a play.

With the Devil pulling my strings im like one of his demons on stage.

Lost soul in a world ill call it satons maze.

Father please save me, help me escape.

Free me from this prison, protect me from the crime scene tape

forgive me for my sins, teach me love not hate.

Lord give me hope, guideance and faith

help me to get somewhere instead of running in place

Shine your light down upon me, remember my face

teach me to do right, bless me with your Heavenly grace

Lift this curse Lord, please keep me safe

last but not least, Tell The Devil Im Saved.



The Beggar

Cameron Johnson 


I am the Beggar,

that is my name.

This is my life,

that was my shame.


My name is Beggar,

I live on the streets.

I dwell near your work,

I've accomplished no feats.


You pass me everyday, but you do not notice,

Your ears are open, but you do not to hear,

my cries for help,

nor my begging peer.


I beg not for coin,

I beg not for food.

I beg only for help,

against my somber mood.


Years now have passed,

My name is now Voice.

My life has been hell,

I was given few choice.


I once was the Beggar,

brought low and small.

Until one day He told me,

to rise and be tall.


He told me I'm special,

in my own little way.

He told me to stand,

before He started to say:


"I am Light, I am Love,

I am your friend, from up above.

I have a plan for you, down there in the dirt,

to help those like you, they who also hurt.


Your pleas have been heard,

your tears can now dry.

I have tested you through hell,

and here is the reason why.


To help someone truly,

you must first understand,

the life they have lived,

lived by thine own hand.


Now that you know,

the life that they live,

a voice you now possess,

It is my plan that you give.


The life you have lived,

your words unspoken.

I give to you now,

a voice unbroken"


My name is no longer Beggar,

I have made my choice.

I will be heard for the silent,

My name is Voice.




HIS GIFT OF FORGIVENESS


Forgiveness is a Blessing from our Father up above


it let's us live in peace and joy and wonders of His love


Forgiveness is His gift to us to save our very souls


if only we can learn from Him to let Him take control


Forgiveness brings us peace inside a comfort to our 


hearts we know he made a way for us through Jesus


from the start Forgiveness from our Father His love


gives all the best He sent His beloved only Son


so we can all be Blessed


Forgiveness is our gift received that we must give away


For giving our Forgiveness we see our Fathers way


Forgiveness gives to us the peace to clear our clouded


minds to better see Gods wisdom and will let His light


in darkness shine


Forgiveness from our Father is what we truely need


we must give it to receive it just as farmers sow their


seed


Forgiveness is a special gift Our Father knows what's 


best to cleanse our souls our hearts and minds


In His Forgiveness we are Blessed !


LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

BLAINE ELKINS


And behold I sat in a very dark place

filled with suffering misery and evil

and beside me I saw a light that shined down

from Heaven upon a part of the foundation of

this dreary place and this stone was dirty black

and pitted suitable to match its surroundings

I looked again and I saw the beauty of the light

that was golden shining into this darkness

and again I considered the ugly stone that did

not deserve such a radiant and glorious illumination

of golden beautiful light in such a dark and dreadful place

And in this I saw God's beautiful light shining down upon me

/this ugly stone/ in this dark and dreary place and that I was not

worthy of such an honor for the Creator to allow His light to shine

upon me in this place and I was humbled and thanked God for His

unconditional love grace and mercy and granting me the sight and

what I have beheld this day.




(Don't forget to pray)

JB

If I don't get to say I love you and sweet dreams,

I love you and sweet dreams don't forget to pray,

I apologize and wish I could look in your eyes, 

and if I did right now then I'd probably cry,

unspoken words spoken and broken words,

and when the truth comes to light maybe that's what hurts...

(Verse1)

I'm the poster child of bad decisions, starved on the streets for weeks no provisions, had visions and premonitions exchanged shots for positions, grew distant stayed persistent, kept in touch with God but no commitment, had to leave my options open, made my share of confessions, not emotionally attached stayed strapped and in the open, no relationship's in the end hearts just get broken, so I've been searching my past and present times misinterpret my opposition I ain't gonna lie, when I was right I never broke stride, admitted when I was wrong still held my head high, we live and die by the same rules applied as tools to fix the wicked, free to speak I head crickets, time is ending soul searching recommended, reprimanded for my past but that's my past can't mend it...

(Verse2) 

Every time I seem to take a chance it blows up in my face, if not but for the grace of God there's no surviving all I've faced, even when I try to apply logic, relax and chill sip gin no tonic, even though I make myself sick sometimes, it pains me to watch them cry, I try to begin again, I failed and began again, I fail like so many men and still can't depend on non of them, to stop my daughters tears from falling, or comfort her momma when I'm all in, my people I can call them but they only seem to love me when I'm ballin, I feel all alone but I must be here for a reason, hope my daughter get taught to pray if my only choice is leaving, ain't got the attention span to concentrate in church as they be preachin, love is warm the world is freezing stay strong and keep believing, strengthin me inside my heart and mind grand design recline and chill, decline the urge to retaliate, hate my alli and I realize that I was I'll, would kill to make them want for nothing, love deceptive expect that you can't trust them, go hard all or nothing we all desire something, ain't that something? 

(Verse3)

Straight from the heart are my intentions though I try not to let them show, just the same as this message precious words I try to let them flow, I'm blessed by the best but I guess you already know, in this life my times ticking maybe inching yet I'm headed home, I got a long row to how found many holes that made me stumble, I'm sure I'll find many more I ask the Lord to keep me humble, sought the truth found trouble, can't see the storm coming but I can hear the distant rumble, all I can do is sit and wonder hope to see the horizon, so I can make amends heartbreak seen clearly in they eyes, and it spreads like a fire you try to put out the flames but they keep growing higher, condemns will consumes desire like Rome and its empire, inquired to find the facts perspired when fell of track stayed intact through the impact screamed I'm back though I'm traped and can't shake this feeling, deceived by the pitch black continue when given reason, blessed with more strength because my God that I believe in, purpose driven good since to catch myself if I start slippin, a way with women that needs to stop cause it ain't worth pretending, happy ending invest my everything 100% of me survived through prayer and meditation stayed one step ahead of the enemy, I pray until my knees of stone bleed or these callused hands gently, touch my wife and cradle my child kiss em on the brow when they fall asleep, take a peak in every hour when I'm restless watch em sleep and be at peace stop living reckless...



"Quarantined on the Inside" 


An Inmate's Personal Account of the COVID-19 Pandemic at the ISCC 

by Mike Hodge 


Suffocating... 

I can't breathe! Walls closing in around me, impersonal, cold. I scream, "HELP!" No one hears. No one cares. Why should they? Human I am not. Caged up, thick steel door slamming in my face, pleas echoing, unheard by my keepers. Detached. Aloof to all of my pain. Even animals, captured and imprisoned, get sunlight. Space to move, fresh air, a sympathetic glance from a passerby. I'm invisible. 

Weeks confined. No recreation. No visits. No chaplain to ease my wary soul. Stale air, feeble rays of sunshine warming up a narrow window, fingertips pressing upon it, feeling freedom lost, my only contact with the outdoors. The glass darkens, the sun sets. One day seems like a thousand sun sets. Another day of hopelessness passes. Is there any hope at all? 

Restless night, tossing, turning, ineffable horrors invading my sleep. Dawn breaks. Early in the morning, I mourn. No hot breakfast. One meager pop tart, a box of raisens, and some crackers to tease my growling stomach. A guard finally releases me from the eight by twelve foot box. "Fifteen minutes!" he shouts. It's been four days since I last showered, and such little time to wash my dirty sorrows away. The soot of my black coal heart building up, festering, choking my dying humanity. The water barely turning warm, soap in tenuous lather, eyes closed, wishing I could wash down the drain to another place, another dimension, an alternate universe at the other end. Dreams of a new life slowly dripping down from my head, off my body, happiness following. Fifteen minutes seem like fifteen seconds. "Times up!" Cell up!" reverberates from the intercom, demanding, and disgruntled like the voice hiding behind the curtain of Oz. My eyes wide open, gone nowhere. I still feel unclean! 


Steel door thunders behind me. An unsympathetic sound becoming more familiar than my own voice. I have no voice, lost and meaningless. Back to lie on my two inch thick mattress, staring at the ceiling, ceiling staring back. My only hope for a friend. My terrorizing thoughts bouncing back and forth off the walls, endlessly harassing me. I'm desperately hungry for company. Is anyone there? 


What about the guy below me? Is he ever really here? I look down at him, his eyes distant, forgotten in a comatose abyss. The handful of pills he swallows multiple times a day, his only escape. I say something to him, no reply, unmoved. Did he not hear me? I go back to staring at the ceiling, and unexpectedly, he speaks, but it's a language that's foreign to me. A loud tumble resonates from below. Crash, bang, on the concrete floor, he jolts and shakes about. What could this maddening fit be? Has the microbial monster, I've been hearing so much about, deadly, fierce, found another host, unleashing it's wrath? I must help this man, but how? If this invisible predator is ravaging him, surely, I'll be next! 



I push a button on the wall, and from a speaker a contentious voice barks, "What do you want?" "Call medical. My cellmate's flopping on the floor," I reply, frozen and immobile. Is my humanity completely lost? His head starts knocking on the concrete, beckoning the underworld, no one answering. I see a gash over his left brow, blood dripping, painting his face. My paralysis is finally broken. I move, grabbing a pillow to cushion his head from more bludgeoning attacks. Cradling him, I absorb the shockwaves, and cry, "Don't die. Please stop." Medical belated, his tremors eventually ceasing, oblivious to spacetime, but alive. "Thank God!" I cry. 


Kneeling, I embrace the six foot two, fifty-two year old man. His slobber blanketing my arms, my hands. I hold him more tightly. Medical personnel arrive, a light shines into his eyes, their heads shake, lift him onto a stretcher, and he's gone. A nurse approaches me weary, sad, forcing a smile that looks more like a frown, and pronounces, "Seizure, haven't given him his meds yet. Short staffed. Make sure you clean yourself up!" "If he just had a seizure that must mean it wasn't the virus that did it to him, so I should be fine, right?" I ask her, desperate, and confused. She shrugs her shoulders, her only reply. 


Hurriedly, I remove my clothes, begging a guard for another shower. "What if I get infected?" I plead. Laughing, he sarcastically replies, "You already took one, deal with it!" What can I do? From out of a small porcelain sink, I finish sanitizing the last inch of my skin with a cheap bar of soap. Drying off, I become more despondent and numb. Standing at the door in nothing but my boxers, I look through the window and notice another cell has a bright red sign taped to it, reading, "Quarantine." 

Frigid air whistles a melancholic tune from the vent in the wall. I turn my head to the television that's hanging in the day room, and there's breaking news. A CNN special report moves across the bottom of the screen: The U.S. has surpassed 150,000 deaths and rising daily. Several states have reissued a mandatory lock down order, and some cities are now enforcing the six foot social distancing rule, punishable by a misdemeanor, if violated. Emergency rooms in Florida have reached their limits... 

Clips of buildings burning, looters pillaging, violence strickening the streets, peaceful protestors exercising their civil rights, and Black Lives Matter activists pleading for justice, long overdue, flash on the screen.Uncertainty, when we need answers most chaos, during a time that calls for order division when togetherness is our only solution. World turned upside down, kids suffering most, normalcy fading with yesterday, government failing us again, an American flag burns!



"I wish things will hurry up and go back to the way they were!" someone being interviewed says, hands interlocked, head down, prostrating to God. Where is God? I turn my attention from the news to the tier and all I see are broken souls, emanating from my peers' eyes, staring out from behind their cell doors, abandoned, confused. They are mirrors to me, reflecting my deepest sorrows, believing the lies that life has nothing more to offer, but razor wire fences. My image distorting, I look no more. 

Walking away, I step into a puddle of blood, almost coagulated, embodying what was once life, obstinately shrinking into death. Since there are no cleaning rags to use, I extract a dirty sock from my laundry bag, and with it, begin absorbing the remnants of my cellmate's thickening crimson tears. Some of it smears into the concrete, forming caricatures, laughing, mocking faces, growing smaller, and smaller, until they're gone, and another piece of me goes too. I stand up, sigh, flush the sock down the toilet, noticing shadows forming silhouettes on the walls, devilishly dancing into dusk.The minute hand on the clock starts moving backwards, teasing me. Does your brain play tricks on you, morphing images into living things when you're completely alone? 

I return to my two inch thick mattress wondering if this nightmare will ever end, and if my sanity can drift any farther out to sea like a boat floating on thoughtless tides. I patiently wait for the next cold meal. Unexpectedly, a key forces into iron locked jaws, startling me out of entrancement. The door swings open, a cordless phone is given to me for the first time in weeks, and I'm told, "You have twenty minutes." Uncontrollable heart beating, mind spinning out of control, speeding down a runaway track. "Whom should I call?" I ask myself. Having the opportunity to intimate with someone other than the imagined entities of loneliness, enlivens, but stifles me. 

"Hmm," I say out loud, "it's a long shot, but..." I dial a number, phone ringing past eternity, no one answering, still ringing, about to give up, but right before I do, call accepted, and a sweet, melodious five year old voice serenades me, singing, "Hello, uncle Mike! I'm eating fish sticks tonight. My friend is eating with us. She's ten and really pretty." "You're really pretty!" I return, floating on laughing rainbows rising up to heaven. We talk like we've never talked before, and for the first time since my niece was born, I glimpse into her gentle heart. A heart of pure radiance, interwoven with bright constellations, begins leading this wayward vagabond home. But before I reach the safe refuge, I notice a guard standing at my bunk, a contemptuous look crossing his face. He reaches out for the phone, and without even getting the chance to tell my niece goodbye, he rudely says, "Times up." Resisting my pent up anger, I comply, calmly handing it to him instead of throwing it against the wall. The guard departs, rainbows dissipate, and after years of damming up my pain, the floodgates open, and I cry teardrops of failed yesterdays. I briefly pace my cage to deal with my sorrow, then escape in a book for an hour, transcending this twisted wonderland to a more promising place. 

My cellmate returns from the hospital, forehead kissed with stitches, medicated and frail. I approach him, breaking through the walls of my insecurities, putting aside my false pride, and as much warmth as I can gather in this ice cold place, give him a hug. He tells me that the doctor said he'll be fine, and thanks for the hug. It's the only one he's had in five years. He sits on the bunk, head down, shoulders slumping, a gloomy cloud forming over his head. "If the doctor said you'll be fine, what's wrong?" I inquire, sitting next to him, concerned, and shockingly open. "On the way to the hospital a guard informed me that an inmate just died from COVID-19. I knew him. I'm scared I'll be next," he answers, body quivering, "and it's been over a month, and we haven't been tested!"



The only thing I can possibly do to console him, for words tend to be hollow in the face of loss, is to be compassionate and listen. After a short while of him shedding his soul, tearing down walls, sharing triumphs and failures, an unexpected camaraderie forms. I then smitten him with the story of my beautiful niece, fill his stomach up with commissary treats, and end the conversation with good nights, and laughter. Lethargy from a long day consumes him, and he immediately falls asleep. I wish him into dreamworlds full of magic, and beautiful princesses, and I'm all alone once more. 

Past midnight, I begin drifting off, and instead of dwelling on everything in my life that's bad, I redirect my mindset to all of it's beautiful blessings. I'm still alive, my family loves me, and eventhough, I'm in a very dark place, I continually witness men rising above their bleak circumstances to perform miracles of kindness, amidst consuming adversity. My eyes finally close on another day, etching itself into the cosmos past, moving forward to a future unfolding new starlit beginnings, and spawning a renewed hope that if a five year old girl can bring magical enchantment to a disillusioned world, than so can I. 

And as my eyes are shut with the fingertips of an angel, I think to myself, "Perhaps, God's been with me all along!" 

I embrace you, my dear reader, not with loving arms, but with heartfelt words. May they inspire you to spread that much needed love wherever you are, and on whatever road you're traveling. It doesn't matter who you are, or where you've been, stranger, friend, prisoner, or free. We're all just human, yearning for love, striving for connectedness, searching for meaning. Today, even as we face scary, unprecedented times, I believe we can find true fulfillment by acknowledging someone else's pain, reaching out with compassion and understanding, and giving them the priceless gift of love.




Is There Dawn?
By Michael Hodge. 

Heart so hollow and void,
weak spirit, sometimes I
can't even move.

Teardrops within my frail
soul, desperately waiting,
waiting for comfort,
but you don't feel near.

Am I destined for this?
A life of confusion and despair,
seems the only way,
no sunshine at dawn.
Is there ever a dawn?

Show me your face,
tell me your real.
If so, why must I wait,
in forever dusk?

My spirit is fragile,
it feels deceived, as it
cries out to you.

Where is your voice to
soothe me? 
Is that your voice, silent 
and still, but I'm not 
listening?

Help me listen, and
speak to me before it's
too late. 
It feels too late!




Our Fire
By Jeffrey Hayden


There's a storm coming in old friend, old friend. 
We might need to gather up some wood for a fire we will tend. 
Old friend old friend. Sometimes when I'm alone and not afraid of this crazy world i sing and dance i sing and dance like the wind. 
Keep my head up high like the open fire in the sky, i wont pretend i wont pretend old friend. 
Even though my voice is quiet to those ears ive always had something to say. I believe i can make it through the night no matter if the sun was out today. 
Old friend old friend lets begin lets begin.


Opaqueness with everyone!
By Michael Hodge

Opaqueness with everyone!
you try to see more than just the surface of defenses,
but people hide behind masks.
plots made up in their own mind, 
acting on a stage of fanciful lies.
is anyone real? am I?

Reality, fragmented pieces of consciousness,
and hazy objects separated by an invisible ether.
peculiar particles popping up and mysteriously going to an unseen world of imagination.
maybe life is but an illusion, 
and our make believe characters,
are the only thing real.

Where is the director, and who's written this comedic plot?
I am, of course?
and there's no screenwriter better than me, we say!
oh, but the script, has already
been authored, and not by us.
another mask we wear!

Opaqueness with everyone!
who is real?
I try to look through myself,
and see nothing but the surface.
as the stage curtain closes,
I finally start to take off my mask.
and for the first time,
I become transparent,

and I am only human!




Thunder
by Jonathon Jones 

The raw power of feeling, the rattle in my chest when the thunder rolls is enough to put life in it's proper perspective, no matter how big and strong I might think I am, the product of an event that didn't even last a fraction of a second leaves me humbled. at the same time, even as I stand there put in my place, still holding tight to this newfound sense of humility, in some type of oxymoronic fashion, the confidence that was taken before I could blink my eyes is replaced by another. as I stare at this angry mass moving in my direction, I can feel my heart rate increase and my palms start to sweat. it leads me to ask myself the question, what's so scary about this storm? after I think about it for a second, I come to the sudden realization that the storm is not the source of my fear. what had happened was that I've allowed the storm to become a representation of my own fragility. so, I still myself with the thought that only thing that I was promised at birth was death and I embrace my mortality as I turn my face to the sky in the midst of the madness and enjoy the display of God's wonder.

'Not Your Ordinary Joe'

by Ricardo Ferrell 

His colorful coat was besmeared with the blood of a goat,

his own brothers would stab him in the back and cut his throat.

All because of jealousy, envy and strife,

they were eager and willing to take his life.
They were infuriated their jealousy increased with enormous hate,
especially when they learned he was destined to become great.
Entrapped and sold and made to be a prisoner enslaved,
despite his circumstances; God was with him he was saved.


Dude was bad, your dreams he could break them down,

realizing such greatness his brothers faces wore a frown.

Falsely accused by the master's wife and thrown in prison,

it didn't diminish his interpretation of dreams nor his vision.

He was bating a thousand with the Chief butler & baker,

one was restored to his office the other met his maker.

During the 7-year famine he provided food for the world to get,
including his jealous hearted brothers who threw him in the pit.

With him it all started by the reading of a dream,
and when he deciphered the King's he put him on his team.

The way he handled 13-years of imprisonment there's no one cooler,
he became like Rick in Egypt and was appointed the Ruler.

-- Ricardo Ferrell



'While You're Wasting Time Hating Me,


I'll Be Spending Time Loving You'

by Ricardo Ferrell

Why do you go on hating me so much,

is it because I've gained both Michal & Jonathan's trust.
You send your goons out to seek and kill me,
but Almighty God extends His hands and keep protecting me.

Your beautiful daughter has fallen in love with me and we marry,
she warns of the traps you've set for me at night.

Why do you go on hating me so much,
is it because the people honor and favor me with a rush.

Your son loves me like a brother and will sacrifice his life for me,
you hate me like the Romans hated Jesus when they crucified Him on Calvary.

Each time you sent them clowns out to kill me I forgave you,
I could've easily slew you when you were made to be my footstool.

Man, when will y'all stop wasting your dam time hating me the way that you do,
because no matter what - I'll keep spending my time loving every last one of you.






~~ Dear Awesome Savior ~~

by Ricardo Ferrell



Greetings in Your Holy name because You faileth not,

when I needed a dose to save my life You gave me a shot.

You've cleansed me of all my sins, faults and bad deeds,
this doesn't come as any surprise because that's what Your word reads.

The Romans may have crucified You on Calvary known as the hill,
but they didn't realize it was part of God's plan and ultimate deal.

Its up to us to ask Your forgiveness so we can right our wrongs,
we do so by how we pray and praising You in our songs. Amen!

Art by Jason



~~~ He Shall Return ~~~

by Ricardo Ferrell


Between Heaven and earth He was miraculously conceived,

the many miracles He performed weren't always believed.

The invisible seed was planted in the Virgin to carry,

the story of how it happened seems to always vary.

His entire life He performed what some perceived as magic,

the way that He was treated is nothing less than tragic.

Count your blessings He sacrificed His life for you,
one thing for certain He was more than a Jew.

How can you go on and not truly believe,
His blood was shed so that you could receive.

He was seated with the twelve up in the upper room,
the eleven were told He was no longer in the tomb.

His skin is the color of bronze, hair like the wool of a sheep,
two thousand years ago He was arisen He is certainly not asleep.

Better be ready and make sure that you are saved,
if not you will go to one hell of a grave.

The people who crucified Him He will always forgive,
He is about that life so be prepared to live.



THE PORTRAIT OF A TORTURED SOUL. 
hearts so cold, no love within
with no remorse, their souls so thin
so many of them secrets hold
if walls could talk, all would be told
their lies, their hate, their malice, their lust
all innocence stolen, all treated unjust
no faith, no hope, no love, no fears
relentless crying, never ending tears
nightmares flashing, transforms to rage
many die, much more afraid
two to a cage, no room to breathe
a loved one dies, no time to grieve
vendettas, rape,  deceit
blood, pain, disease, defeat
enemies, they run and hide
head doctors, some do confide
happiness, so far, so wide
they contemplate escape, try suicide
rifle shots and clanging chains
no admission, only blame
splattered blood and childhood fears
some face never ending years
pernicious life, malignant lies
mental anguish, pretentious cries
most everyone prevaricates
life goes on and no one waits
getting high, smuggling dope
heroin, weed and even coke
religion is not what it seems
nightmares aren't just in your dreams
heavy burdens, crimes filled with rage
some dead and gone, most in this cage
hate filled hearts cause much despair 
hate in their hearts, hate in the air
insufferable cries from cold, lost souls
death is but one final goal
most suicides here never work
when you fail escape, you go berserk
barbarity and damaged souls 
yard officers and gate patrols
so much pain, unconquerable fears
some get shot, some disappear
malicious hatred, vindictive mind
endless sorrow, most left behind
acrimonious groups, hard to stay alive
some do fifty, some do five
dauntless pride and childish lies
impious behavior, anticipated cries
homage here just won't get paid
so many lost, just can't be saved
some make enemies, some real close friends
some make both, it all depends
trucculent men, all filled with hate
some stay the same and some fly straight
find faith in God, their all the same
enlightenment, don't care which name
some get flops, others get a parole
this is the portrait of a tortured soul...
- Jonathon Mattson 

Another Portrait of A Tortured Soul


blood stained floors and tainted minds

scarred up cheeks, men so unkind

mangled metal, scratched up floor

shanks made from the locker doors

lives with no purpose rot in this hell
some hate their lives and always fail
cold, dead cries and tortured screams
freedom, not just Americas dream
agony, fear, death, violence and blood
heroin, coke, weed, and spud
so much talent, so much pain
no more sunshine, only rain
pain cuts like a thousand knives
so many men consumed with pride
children, wives, their houses and cars
some have lost everything, some things more bazaar
thoughts so dark, they try and hide
contemplation of murder and suicide
screams cloud the halls with such despair
guards stand watching, they just don't care
this is life behind these walls
some try to run before they crawl
fatherless children, all left behind
some fathers love them, much more malign
care for no one but themselves
they pray to God, but nothing helps
heartfelt pleas, but no one listens
recidivism for Michigan prisons
robbery, murders, and manslaughters
the greedy run away, but the humble man saunters
changes are made, some fellacious, some benign
few deal with issues, others whine
some get better, but more tend to regress
no matte the struggle, they still feel a mess
some families wait, while others refuse
some are content while others sing the blues
these four walls close more everyday
some call their families and don't know what to say
so many people incapable of change
they take no responsibility, only place blame
all your nightmares are soon a reality
when your alone its an all out calamity
I'm not in a stable or remotely good position
my lifestyle and faith keep me safe and sane, its more than religion
God is God, you see, we all came from the same one
I got fifteen for armed robbery and two for the gun
I've gone through this before, I know the the real deal
its taken me forever to remember how to feel
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
prison is prison, so who the hell can I trust?
I have grown so much, but some have immatures
this is another portrait of a soul being tortured.....

- Jonathon Mattson

Essay On Leadership. By Steven Wright


What does leadership mean to you?
  Leadership is a two way avenue. In one direction you lead by a positive example. In the other direction you lead by negative example. This comes with acknowledgement that even though one may lead in a positive way, at times they may show a negative example. This is where a balancing act comes into play. Nobody is perfect, so ay times, a positive influence may relapse into a negative reaction. Leadership doesn't only apply to those you socialize with on a daily basis. Every day we lead people whom we have never talked to, never met, and do not even know by name. This is what i call "ghost leading."
  A leader is someone whose name is passed around like a hot potato. With others discovering through social channels who this leader is, they begin to evaluate, judge, criticize, and/or admire from afar. Even without direct contact a leader is always leading someone. This aldso applies in the opposite spectrum of a negative leader. Even followers are leaders because there is always someone who is going to follow them and this can become a chain reaction; leading to results that may be beneficial or detrimental to others or a community.
  Leadership means a lot to me. If we are leading someone or following a leader, this will have a direct result of our overall life experiences. When i first became a member of the Jaycees organization in prison i did only the bare minimum. After closely watching the leadership that was in place, i started to get inspired and participate more. With encouragement and acknowledgement from leadership, it began to empower me to take on some of the leadership qualities and traits that were being reflected to me. Leadership began to see something in me that empowered them to use me as an example, to prepare me to become a future leader after they are gone. With completing many Jaycees programs and milestones, i have put myself in many leadership positions in the Jaycees organization.
How i have carried myself as a leader has propelled me through many of these positions and has set me up for a bigger leadership role. This accomplishment is only possible by those around me who have showed me the right way to do things. Achievements like these do not just happen on their own or by luck. This life experience doesn't just rest inside the Jaycees bubble. This is something that can be branched out in all facets of life as a father, friend, family member and even a felon returning back to society. 
   Leadership has helped me learn to treat others with respect, understand where they are coming from, as well as understand where their behavior is leading them and how it victimizes others. Hopefully by living this example it can be an inspiration to others around me, which may spring board individuals to return to society prepared to lead and continue to follow others who possess positive leadership qualities.   - Steven Wright 


Art by Jeffery.